A small (but very opinionated) bird had suggested I narrow the focus of the blog to food and men, so I will try to leave most of the random Italy stuff to the likes of Facebook where such nuggets of amusement make great enigmatic status updates. When I get my book deal, of which said bird will probably want a percentage, I will add them all together. So here is the first of many “food and man” posts.

My sojourn to the gym has given me new hope of eating whatever I like, now that there is a better way to burn it off, other than walking up and down the Via Po all day. SO, today, I finally ate my first pasta dish (at my usual cafe) “Tortellini con Pancetta con Panna.” Basically, crazy delicious cheese stuffed tortellini with bacon and a cream suace. It was so good I completely forgot to take a picture of it. I took a picture of the still warm table where it sat for a good for about 3 minutes before I had eaten it all. Yes, yes, peanut gallery, I know I am supposed to eat slowly and savor everything. I’m working on it, but not today. I was famished– and coffee and cigarettes were still not cutting it. Plus, thanks to working at Starbucks and the world of restaurants, I am still used to only seeing “food as fuel.” Fuel that you have to eat in less than 15 minutes so you can get back to work, not that you get to savor for the three hours you have off in the afternoon for food and napping.

my quickly eaten pasta...it's gone!

I attempted to make myself a sort of antipasti platter because I was hungry and wanted to eat random stuff out of the fridge apparently…

Sooo…the olives were easy…I just took them out of the jar. And the fontina cheese, also easy to simply cut. And then…*sigh*….I thought that I would heat some carrots in a pan with some olive oil and maybe some salt and pepper. As you can maybe tell, I burned them quite promptly, and I was barely even cooking yet!! Stupid pans. Stupid cooking…

Then, I decided to heat up some spinach to go with the burnt carrots. So I threw two frozen cubes of spinach into the pan, thinking they would defrost and I could mix them with the carrots. Instead, I just caused water and oil to spatter everywhere and the bottoms of the cubes to burn. Luckily, I remembered, after a few minutes of burns and frustration, that you can steam frozen veggies in with that weird unfolding thingy with holes that you put in a pan with water under it. So, I put the cubes in that and added some garlic, and it turned out pretty good, except for the burnt pieces! Yet another lesson learned.

Um, look how cute this mozzarella ball is in it’s own little carton house!!


So, when I was in America, and clearly not in the mood to work anymore, I was on my laptop for most of each afternoon at my restaurant. This was convenient, since 4 pm is 10 pm here in Turin, so many Italians were online and willing to chat with “the American.” So to help keep them all straight (*snigger*) I literally had to make a spreadsheet. Below are some choice excerpts of said sheet, with the original comments attached and including the current “front-runners” deserving of my affection. I’m not changing any names, because quite frankly the chances of any of them happening upon this blog are close to nil.

Gian (lovelybastard on me2)
HOT, and can speak english….in vet school…in top five definitely!!!!!

Yes, Gian was/is in the top five, but like Filippo below, he has seemingly disappeared to “study” after proclaiming repeatedly that he could not wait to meet me. hmm.

Giancarlo (AvaUPO on me2)
just sent messages telling me I was cute. A bear, but possibly attractive. 39Yo

Marco (mark_84_to on me2)
Lives in piazzo rivoli, security agent, does not speak english well, does not drink??? what!

Artur (M on msn)
Polish, not Italian. Likes hiking, and jogging. Cute, but maybe small? No idea what his age is. Only in turin until december. Speaks english well. Works for a bank.

Artur, above, was the polish guy I met. Luckily for him, he is not “small” but only a few inches below me. He did invite me skiiing during our breakfast date, but I prefer to live.

Geb on MSN (mmoreno on me2it…)
42, bike picture, lives in Moreno, which seems far away….offered to cook dinner

Um, yes, Andrea messages me everyday, but no, I am not getting on a train for 4 hours to come visit you so you can make me dinner, strange older man…

Nicola (SDR28 on me2.it.) may be cute…hard to tell… and speaks english well. Works as a translator. Just moved into new apt. lives alone

Ahhh Nicola…the first person I ever “MSN’d” with. Too bad you turned out to be a douchebag. I invited him to come to the festival with me, and he said: “i’m going with my friends.” end of discussion. What? You can’t even say something along the lines of “But maybe we can hang out next week” nothing?! ….douche…

Vittorio. Very cute. Works for Eataly!

Ah sadness for Vittorio because he was way cute…and has disappeared.

Filippo. HOT. Cybersex guy. 16 sept. not so great with the english. Lives with parents. Wants to have sex on the hood of his car

Ah Filippo…another one who is oh so very busy studying, but likes to take study breaks to talk about how much sex we are going to have. That’s very sweet and all, but imaginary sex might cut it for a 16yo, but I have needs! I thinks its quite telling that the main thing I wrote about him is that he wants to have sex on his car. If that happens, I will be sure to discuss the engineering and physics that were needed, considering he drives a Mini.

have no idea. Is mercurio something or other on me2.it. Works for torino pride. Is very interested in meeting me for some reason

This was date number two last friday. Though I appreciated his desire to be a tour guide to his wonderful city (OOoooohh!! That’s Palazza Madame??? I had nooo idea!! The Mole has a cinema museum in it??? Get out of town!), he was a bit douchey. Making me repeat “Vorrei” six times because I cannot pronounce it correctly is NOT CUTE.

I have no idea. Cybersex probably.

Alex, 41yo…., has been to america, english isn’t too bad…not that cute though

Denis (?), cute, not so good with the english, but adorable when he tries, has lived in turin all his life. Has cute grey underwear

Ok, Dennis (Denis? I dunno) was the first date on Friday. He was very sweet and was trying very hard with his English to communicate. Unfortunately, he is about a foot and a half shorter than me, but he got a little cuter when I chatted with him the next day.

Claudio, 22
works for a hotel. travels to switz. a lot for some reason. very nice! wants to go to centralino which i guess is a club. very cute!

Claudio is currently also in the top five. In theory, we are going shopping on Friday because I have no winter clothes at all…and it is steadily getting more and more chilly. He is very cute in pictures…so we will see…

Daniele, 19
Way too skinny.

Here is an example of where I draw the line. First of all, you have the same name as me, and secondly, I am not having sex with a 19yo!!! That being said, if such a 19yo were to send me text messages everyday about how much he wants to have sex with me…who am I to stop him??

Ok, that’s it so far, minus some minor players….. I will keep you posted!


~ by Daniel on September 22, 2009.

3 Responses to “FUD”

  1. I love it! Did you ever get “vorrei” good enough for him?

  2. You won’t sleep with a 19yr but you’re thinking of sex on a mini with a 16yr?
    I’m confused…miss ya bitch!

  3. Nooooo….Filippo is 25 silly… “16” is referring to a pretend sex date we had… ok, that sounds just as weird….sigh…

    miss you too!

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