Sunday, I was a bit depressed.  I’m sad I am leaving in a mere three weeks (and must give up what can best be described as an alternative time-line) and returning to the “real world.”  I’m also quite wracked with guilt.  I really like my students a lot.  As for the men, not only Michele, but nearly everyone thinks I’m only leaving for the Christmas holidays and then promptly returning.  That may still be the case, but it will be very difficult to make a reality, and I’m still not sure I want to…  But at least in theory, I have a plan for the upcoming year…

So, I ate a whole bag of potato chips and two coca-colas (bless you baby jesus! and your 55 cent colas…) in one sitting, which of course added to my guilt even more, as it was a return to some past unfortunate habits.  And I then I was even more stupid, and listened to the latest Bat for Lashes over and over again.  And THEN, I sat in bed for hours watching bad gay movies thanks to  Angela had three friends over for dinner, so I was more or less relegated to my room by their loud Italian cackles.   Oh yes, we were having a ridiculous pity party of one.  *sigh*


But then Maurizio called.


I KNOW, I should hate myself….   but in 10 minutes flat I had “showered,” shaved, dessed in my cutest shirt, and was walking well on my way to Queever.   All because a boy had called.  I know I’m just a bar friend, but it still feels good.  I certainly didn’t mind when he pulled me close at one point with that pesky ‘hand on the small of the back’ gesture.  I didn’t even mind when it dawned on me later that he did it to make the other guy in the group stop hitting on him.  I can’t help it.  It feels good to “belong” and to dance with abandon and to be surrounded by ridiculously attractive Italians.

As usual, Maurizio insisted on driving me home, and we in theory are going dancing again on Wednesday….I won’t be counting any chickens of course…


~ by Daniel on November 16, 2009.

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